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Popsickle Interstellar Travel Survival Kit (tm) User's Manual

Secret Society Wars  »  The Popsickle's Guide To The Universe

  • Posted By: Vonbek  homeworld | blog | gallery | player profile

    Popsickle Interstellar Travel Survival Kit (tm) User's Manual
    * In case of emergency, eat the packaging around the Popsicle Interstellar Travel Survival Kit (tm), it is not nutritious, but will reduce interstellar space waste. Thank you.*

    ** In case of emergency, and stranding in space, dial (666)867-5309 for sector side assistance with your complimentary Interstellar Phone. **

    *** NOTE: DUE TO SAFETY CONCERNS, ALL INTERSTELLAR PHONES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED FROM THE UNIVERSE. BY THE COMMAND OF EMPEROR NORTON. ***

    Helpful hints and tips for the modern day Popsicle space traveler:

    Q1. What if my propulsion system runs out of fuel?

    A:

    Step the first: Open hand to make a flat palm.
    Step the second: Smack side of helmet with extreme force whilst making the sound "Doh".
    Step the third: Search inventory for bananna.
    Step the fourth: Resist urge to explore the bananna's other interesting uses.
    Step the fifth: Peel said bannana and consume the fleshy interior.
    Step the sixth: Sigh a sigh of relief as your propulsion system hummms back to life.

    Q2. What if i have no more banannas in my inventory?

    A:

    1: Jot down note to purchase more banannas.
    2: Unlatch propulsion system safety latch and close eyes.
    3: Remove propulsion system.
    4: Upon regaining of consciousness, repeat step the first from above, followed by a variation of step the second. The variant being to do so with out the helmet on.