Popsickle Interstellar Travel Survival Kit (tm) User's Manual * In case of emergency, eat the packaging around the Popsicle Interstellar Travel Survival Kit (tm), it is not nutritious, but will reduce interstellar space waste. Thank you.*
** In case of emergency, and stranding in space, dial (666)867-5309 for sector side assistance with your complimentary Interstellar Phone. **
*** NOTE: DUE TO SAFETY CONCERNS, ALL INTERSTELLAR PHONES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED FROM THE UNIVERSE. BY THE COMMAND OF EMPEROR NORTON. ***
Helpful hints and tips for the modern day Popsicle space traveler:
Q1. What if my propulsion system runs out of fuel?
A:
Step the first: Open hand to make a flat palm.
Step the second: Smack side of helmet with extreme force whilst making the sound "Doh".
Step the third: Search inventory for bananna.
Step the fourth: Resist urge to explore the bananna's other interesting uses.
Step the fifth: Peel said bannana and consume the fleshy interior.
Step the sixth: Sigh a sigh of relief as your propulsion system hummms back to life.
Q2. What if i have no more banannas in my inventory?
A:
1: Jot down note to purchase more banannas.
2: Unlatch propulsion system safety latch and close eyes.
3: Remove propulsion system.
4: Upon regaining of consciousness, repeat step the first from above, followed by a variation of step the second. The variant being to do so with out the helmet on.
